I AM THE FORCE

Has anyone noticed that there's something wrong with the Wisconsin Legislature? No, I don't mean the special interests, I mean the legislators themselves. Such an undistinguished group could hardly be gathered anywhere else in Wisconsin.

First, you have the young punks and former staffers who moved back home so that they could have the big desk and office. Most of them can be characterized as having strong ideological beliefs that have little or nothing to do with any real world experience. They're kneejerk in their reactions to virtually ever issue, and are much more concerned about the next election than they are of accomplishing anything meaningful. It's all about them and their position and jockeying for future office, me me me me me me me. As a rule, they are an unimaginative bunch that are thrilled to have accomplished their goal -- personal power. Unfortunately, they have no original ideas and don't seem to ever do much with that authority.

Second, you have the old retired guys/gals who stumble here due to the paycheck and the easiness of the job. Even though they're retired, they find it difficult to ever leave for a multitude of reasons. One thing that most of them enjoy a great deal is the ability to escape their families and go hang out at the bars and drink and cavort with a bunch of other legislators. They leave their home with sadness, protesting how duty calls, and then they click their hills and head down to meet their buddies and other admirers. They also don't have to do any significant work for their troubles. While there is an occasional late night on the floor of the Legislature, for the most part, a couple hours a day would be seen as a pretty strenuous occasion. The bloated staff in their office does everything for them, writing and even signing many of their letters. So, it's like having another chance at adolescence, and they love it.

If a legislator is lazy and unambitious, there is no one to correct him or dock his or her pay. They just keep getting more arrogant. The staffers just have to roll their eyes and cover for their boss, that is their job after all. Some of the more clever discover that they can do less and less every year with absolutely no consequences. Lazy, immature, unimaginative self-aggrandizers.

Why don't we get the best and brightest? The first problem is that successful people are out in the real world being successful. The salary is far from enough to draw the most talented, but much more than adequate to maintain the bottom-feeders. The other difficulty is that freaks rather than normal people tend to be attracted to this line of work. And then, the constant courting by lobbyists and sucking-up by staffers results in these big-shots getting weirder and weirder. You can become a fall down on the street alcoholic, pious ignoramus, partisan hack, lazy skirt-chaser or whatever you'd like, and people only cover for you. Everyone will continue to come to their fundraisers and tell them how wonderful and essential they are to the workings of Wisconsin.

I encourage everyone to go watch the Legislature in debate. You'll see childish name calling, refusal to listen to members of the other party, no real debate on public policy, and a deadening lack of intellect focused on the issues of the day. And they're actually making law!!!!!! Though most of them are probably not all that aware of what they're adopting. Each caucus is focused on either winning or blaming the side that won, and no one is really paying much attention. With so many unspectacular and spoiled individuals, is it any surprise that we find ourselves here?

But we always need to keep in mind that we get exactly what we deserve. The bums could be replaced if the voters actually cared enough about their government to act. But they don't care, and are unlikely to any time soon. So don't worry, distinguished members of the Wisconsin Legislature, your secret is safe with me.